My life crisis at 32

I have this forever dilemma of “finding myself” and figuring out what I want to do when I grow up. I’m 32 years old. I’m all grown up, all my body parts have come out, and they have gone south. Everything has changed, and I still don’t know what I was created to do.

I have college classmates who are now doctors specializing in amazing things, lawyers friends working their way up, friends who are executives, people building up companies, and acquaintances who know who they are at an early age.

And here I am, again, 32, with my dilemma.

I have a very suportive husband. He would always tell me, “go find yourself, baby.” I’m thankful, but still, I don’t know how to do that.

“Can you actually look for something that is not lost?”

We’ve had discussions lately of trying for baby number 3. Marco thinks that we should wait until I sort things out. Until I know what I want to do, until I feel whole and complete. The baby should not be the center of my universe. My days and nights should not be consumed by our child. I need to be a whole me to be a good mom.

I’ve been thinking lately, and me thinking is not a very good thing. ūüėČ

WHAT IF..

WHAT IF I was created to be a mom! When God looked at my folder He placed me in the “will be a mom” pile.

WHAT IF that is what I am suppose to do!

That’s all I’ve ever wanted to be anyway. People dream of becoming all these wonderful things, my wonderful things are tucking my kids in bed, preparing breakfasts lunches and dinners, tight hugs and wet kisses, pulling my hair out cause the kids won’t listen, fighting and screaming, and more tight hugs and wet kisses.

And is it really that bad that your child becomes the center of your universe? That you spend days and nights doting over your baby? Isn’t that EXACTLY what all parents do anyway?

Oh. And not that this dilemma has been semi-sorted out, there is there that problem of keeping the baby alive in utero. Hahaha.

Got any tips for me? ūüėČ

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About Ky Malupa

Housewife. Mother of 2 angels. Gluten free, dairy free, corn free baker and eater. SLE patient. Hair and Makeup Artist. Image Enhancement Instructor.
This entry was posted in Life. Bookmark the permalink.

One Response to My life crisis at 32

  1. Tulips says:

    I can relate myself to you. After I got a baby I feel I dnt know anything else except being a mom. Sometimes I wish I should do something else but what.

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